What if I die tomorrow? I would watch the serene sunrise, lively daylight, calm sunset and finally – dark, starry night sky. While the sun rises and the world still sleeps, I get out of my bed and walk outside the door. Cold air touches me, but I don’t hide myself under heavy clothes. I expose most of me and capture as many things as I can in the moment. During the daytime, I would spend all my energy with dear friends. We can do anything - anything that is said to be insane. We dance, sing, and laugh so hard until we are exhausted. Before night comes, I take a short nap and prepare dinner for my heroes, my parents. In the late night, I would listen to Ponce’s Estrellita(Little Star) string quintet version, looking at the estrellitas in the sky. I imagine countless little stars falling off to the ground. I would keep the absolute romance of an ordinary day. But a second before I die, I would say – I need another day, just another day.
What if I die a week later? I would start a challenge for a week. I meet people who would gladly support me. There is an endless list of inspiring people around me and it is always good to share goals, values, and experiences with them. A period of passion is followed by a short breath and pauses. Refreshments always make me come alive as a person again. When the goals are finally achieved, I feel like I have grown a little bit. But a minute before I die, I would say – I need another week, just another week. I just want to grow a little bit more.
What if I die a month later? I would enjoy literature, music, and films. Complete digestion of good pieces of them usually takes a few weeks. For someone who is waiting for her last moment, hackneyed personal development books are not quite right. I don’t need to look at other’s life to develop myself, but the past of my own life is what I learn from. I don’t waste time listening to meaningless hook music or watching movies with excessive entertainments – I have no time. Pride and Prejudice, Nocturne, and Citizen Kane are what I am eager to enjoy. A sense of belongings, emotions, delicacy and everything is in these classics. The ultimate beauty of arts fill in the spirits of mine. I am not overwhelmed by pop cultures; I tell myself what to choose and build my own cultures. But an hour before I die, I would say – I need another month, just another month.
What if I die a year later? I would enjoy an artistry of all four seasons. From the dead winter to the blooming spring, to the passionate summer and to the breezy autumn, I would observe the annual cycle of every living creature. A year is also a perfect time for me to learn something new. I practice playing Praeludium and Allegro by Pugnani Kreisler. I go travel beyond the fences surrounding me. I learn how to work with architectural modeling programs. I learn how to speak perfect Chinese. I learn how to play tennis. I study about our Elegant Universe or string theory. But a week before I die, I would say – I need another year, just another year. I still have a lot to learn.
What if I die at last? I would live as if I die tomorrow, as if I die a week later, as if I die a month later, and as if I die a year later. And a month before I die, I would say – I lived my life. I don’t need more time to end it. It has been as beautiful as ever.
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